Or at least it was for a very short time in my early years as a mother.
I grew up in what some would consider a "strict" home. Plenty of rules, but also plenty of love and guidance. The rules never felt suffocating. I never questioned the reason for the rules. Never wondered why I had to be in that family. In fact, I found it honoring to be a part of such a wonderful Christian family. (Of course, no family is picture perfect and that is reason for another post at another time.)
In our home, we did not celebrate Halloween- or All Hallow's Eve. It was a night full of death, and darkness and demons. We were Christians. Our purpose in life was to shine the light. Speak of life eternally. How could we be taken honestly, not viewed as hypocrites, if we took part in such an evil day? I understood my parent's views and honestly, I was scared to participate in the holiday. Looking back I'm not sure if the fear was of the "evil" or of how others would perceive me.
During my short time of rebellion, in my late teens, I participated in the college scene of Halloween. At that point in my life, it was more about dressing "sexy" and bouncing from club to club. Not so much the scary idea Halloween had been made to be throughout my childhood. When I got married, however, and found out I would become a mother; there was no doubt in my mind that my children would ever take part in Halloween. I was never going to expose them to things that would scare them and give them nightmares. Things that would fill there minds with evil thoughts. That was all of course before actually having that conversation with my husband.
You see, unless you were raised in the same beliefs, "equally yoked", as the Bible says; than these conversations can become quite controversial. While my husband was also raised in Christian home, his background was not as restrictive as mine. He spent his childhood dressing up and being treated with candy. Carving pumpkins and telling ghost stories. Taking part in the spookiness of the festivities. On top of that, he has many very fond memories of those times between him and his older siblings. He could not begin to understand why I wouldn't allow our children to "have fun". To be honest, even though I knew all of the "right" answers, I had a very difficult time articulating to him my reasons- my parents reasons- for not celebrating.
So, for the first few years of our marriage and our boys younger years; we celebrated because that was what I felt an honorable wife would do. This is not me saying that every wife should give up their beliefs and convictions for their husband. This is me saying that I needed to step back and not expect my life with my husband to be the same life my parents led. Looking back I can say this was also God working on a very specific part of my heart.
Today, just a few days after our 8th Halloween together, I'd like to share with you my thoughts on this holiday and what it has become in our family.
This year we dressed up all together, for the first time, as the characters from the Wizard of Oz. I was the scarecrow, our "Vol" was the Tin Man, the "tarheel" was the lion, little miss was Dorothy and my dear husband was Oz, the Great and Powerful. We had so much fun! Walking through our little neighborhood, watching my acorns run up to each house with pure joy. Using their very best manners, "Trick or Treat, Thank you" and even "Dorothy" following suit of her brothers. Complaining of the cold and their bags being too heavy... and the oh so terrible prickers getting stuck in their shoes. It all brought me joy. That weird, overwhelming, makes you want to cry for no reason, motherhood joy that swoops in without any warning at all! I found myself thanking God for his protection and guidance over my children's lives.
Every year, for the past 7 years (we didn't take our oldest son trick or treating when he was an infant, so it has only been 7 years of active trick or treating) when leaving our home, I've said a silent prayer over my little's. Quickly laying my hand on their head and speaking protection over their minds and bodies. The prayers had to be quick, because lets be honest, when candy is within reach... or a few steps, everything has to be quick! Quick but not lacking. I believe genuinely that because of those prayers, God has walked with us every step of the way. Up to each door step, regardless of how scary they were decorate and around every dark corner.
A lot of the scare through out my childhood came from the idea that because Halloween was filled with evil, that God could not be present. How can that be? How can it be that God would run and hide when evil is around? Would he truly leave us alone on the same day every year if we went outside? Of course not! He is always there. Always with us. Always guiding and protecting us. After all, he is the only one powerful enough to make those evil things shudder in fear. Where there is any light, darkness can not abound. HE is the light! He who is within us, brings the light to those who do not yet know.
I believe we shield our children from a lot of the world, not realizing we may be missing out on a perfect opportunity to share with them the all comforting love of Christ. In life there are going to be many times that our little's will feel fear. Whether it is brought on by a sight, sound or simply a thought; the best thing we can do for them is teach them who is there with them. Who already knows that fear and is fighting along side them to overcome it.
In the spirit of Halloween, from carving the pumpkins to making "ghosties" and singing spooky songs. From dressing up in costumes and devouring tons of candy; my husband and I have made the commitment to turn every opportunity over to God. Exploring the questions our children present to us and being amazed at how much they retain and re-teach each other every year. Teaching them, through our example, that even in the darkness there will always be light. Even in all the bad, there is good.
There are of course certain limitations we put on our exploration of the holiday. Specific lines we choose to not cross. We haven't had to deal with any rebellion from the little's on any of those yet, although I'm sure there will come a time sooner or later; but for now we are thankful for the memories we are making with our 3 acorns. Thankful for the excitement they get every year when discussing what "they want to be". Thankful for the moments to teach them the gospel. I pray these moments are not fleeting and that when they too have families of their own, that they will be willing to listen to the spirit guiding them and to remember that the life we, as their parents led, does not have to be the life they will live.
So, for us- the answer is simple: To trick or treat and shine the light of God, always!
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